you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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