I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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