6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
