its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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