I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
where are my eyebrows?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
