I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize
