I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
