we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How external is "for external use only"?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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