You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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