im drinking this country out of the recession.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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