that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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