As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
