Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
