that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
