Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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