The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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