HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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