im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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