I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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