i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
