wat bout pragnant strippers??
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
