R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
