dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
