awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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