What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
