I bet he comes in French.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
