Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize