i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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