The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
