i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
