his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
