how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
