If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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