im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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