i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
