I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
