If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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