Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
