he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
