I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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