shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Shame - the story of my life.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
