saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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