i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
