your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
