ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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