I wish my penis had an off switch
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
