I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
