let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
