btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
