i barfeds in our rink
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
