Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
